Return of the Shaggy Dog

Many of you will know that Paul hates getting his hair cut. He hates that he has to give up some of his free time to a chore, and he especially hates that he has to pay money on top of that. So he puts it off as long as possible. And then he delays another 4-6 weeks until his hair looks like this:

You can't really tell from the photo, but his hair is so long that he has combed it sideways behind his ears. It was past his nose if he didn't slick it back. That was Paul's company Christmas party. I had been increasingly vocal about Paul's hair and threatened to cut it myself. He upped the ante by encouraging me to do it. So the rhetoric escalated until I did. And it looked awful in a way words cannot describe. Here's a picture of the best-looking part: the front.

There was nothing even, level, or aesthetically pleasing about it. It was so bad that even he conceded to go to Great Clips and get it fixed. I don't know how the girl did it, but she even managed to erase a nick which I thought was too deep to fix. Here's a picture after it was fixed:

That's not the best photo, since it's a bit blurry and it was raining, but you can see she had to take it very short. Still, I think important lessons--even perhaps life lessons--were learned all over the place.

The Definition of Adorability

Sorry for the heavy grumping. Admissions bring out the worst in people. (The grad advisor told me to cheer up and remember it would all be over by mid-February.) Anyway, in lieu of an apology, I'm offering adorable pictures of Miss Pips--on an actual camera! Yes, I too couldn't take the grainy, blurry cellphone pictures anymore. So I stalked camera prices for a couple weeks, then pounced during Black Friday. Pro-tip: Thanksgiving to Christmas is a great time to buy a camera. I have made many promises to Paul that I will not lose this one.

Spying from her highly defensible secret location:

Caught!:

Let's see how good you look the last two weeks of the semester:

WE ARE NOT AMUSED!

The Inconvenient Truth (Plus Thanksgiving)

I'll get to the inconvenient truth part in a minute, but first Thanksgiving. It was nice, it was just Paul and me, and all the food turned out well except the last tray of rolls which were forgotten in the oven. Also, apparently Paul had some sort of cooking incident that covered the stove in gravy and involved fire. As gravy is not flammable, I do not know how/what happened. Assume it was comical. Here's a picture of the spread, if case you are still worried we secretly starved to death.

Now to the inconvenient truth part. I am losing my faith in Americans, specifically the electorate. Back in November, the New York Times ran a nifty little interactive feature on its website. It asked viewers to solve the deficient through a series of mixed options of cuts and tax raises. I think everyone needs to try this feature--especially those in Congress--because it makes it painfully clear that some hard choices are needed to balance the budget and that no single approach (cuts or tax increases) is going to cut it (no pun intended).

That doesn't really explain my concern about the American electorate, does it? Well, the New York Times took the responses from the game and analyzed them. It was by no means scientific, just intriguing. Or terribly depressing. The five most popular cuts/taxes increases were (in order): Reduce the size of the military to pre-Iraq war levels, additional cuts to troops in Asia and Europe; allow Bush-era tax cuts for incomes above $250,000 to expire; reduce Social Security for those with high incomes; reduce nuclear arsenals and space spending; cancel or delay some weapons programs. Those five were out of forty options. Of the total forty options, five were able to garner at least 50% of support from both those who overall favored tax increases (likely liberals) and those who overall favored budget cuts (likely conservatives). Many of the responses were widely divergent. And that's why I worry about the American electorate--because they seem farther and farther apart, more interested in ideological purity than fact, willing to take nothing if all isn't available to them, view pragmatism and compromises as failings instead of virtues, and place self over country.

This ideological purity fetish is more than short-sighted and foolish. It's the modern equivalent of bread and circuses, and it's downright dangerous. The more Republicans refuse to compromise (thanks the the perceived power of the the Tea Party movement), the more the necessary function of government is stalled. Members of Congress can waste weeks on quarreling over the repeal of "Don't ask, don't tell" or raise constant questions about the current president's legitimacy (Native-born? Christian? America-hating commie?), but something that should be easily bipartisan like the 9/11 Health and Compensation Act can't get enough votes to pass the Senate. Endless arguments over abortion; the acceptability of homosexuals as adoptive parents, soldiers, or spouses; and illegal immigration distract from far more important and pressing issues such as basic budgeting and comprehensive reforms of health care, immigration, and tort law.

Of course, those are also indirect. Sure, the legislative process is grinding to a halt, but the infrastructure is intact and the world keeps on turning. So let's turn to Arizona. I've ranted before about the gut job Arizona's very conservative, very Republican legislature did in an effort to balance the budget. Well, one of the things that is finally getting some attention is that Arizona cut transplants for Medicaid recipients with certain health conditions. 100 people on the transplant list are now unable to afford the $200,000 the transplants can cost. At least one of those people had a donor organ located, but could not receive it because his family could not come up with the cash. People die, I get that. People die, even in a first world "exceptional" country, because they cannot afford advanced medical treatment, I get that too. The question is should it happen? Cutting those transplants saved a million dollars in a multi-billion dollar deficit. The same people who rail against "Obamacare," also oppose the states making up the slack or forcing private insurers to provide affordable care to all. I can't speak about the entire legislature, but I can speak about the chair of the appropriations committee and top Republican who lives in Paradise Valley, median home price: $1.74 million, and say his health care costs probably don't keep him up at night.

Which brings me to my final point--the right end of the political spectrum seems increasingly easy to lump together under a single slogan: Screw you, I got mine. So the Tea party and their very conservative Republican allies (and even a few Democrats), with their blaring about individual freedoms and personal rights, don't care about you. That would require thinking about others--their freedoms, rights, and welfare. And the rest of the American electorate seems too apathetic to care, or at least vote.

That's the inconvenient truth.

It's the Most Horrible Time of the Year

It's the most horrible time of the year. That's right, it's application time! Nothing turns me into a stressed-out prickly hedgehog like filling out Ph.D. applications. There's always a million forms to fill out, usually requiring data from years ago. Seriously, I have a freaking master's degree. Who cares what I did as an undergrad besides graduate?!! No, I do not know my registration number for a test I took three years ago. I assure you I have no trust fund and my parents have not been supporting me since 2003, so you'll have to forgive me for not knowing their net worth off the top of my head. That's right, Columbia, I'm looking at you. I'm sorry I haven't been a publishing fiend, Princeton, I'll get right on that. And why in heaven's name does it take $100 to process an application? Of course after the forms, there's the statement of purpose, the resume/CV, the writing sample, the transcripts, the letters of recommendation. Ugh, it makes my head explode. Why can't I just say "I want to do this, I've done well in grad school so far, here's some letters of recommendation." It's the stupid dancing and BS and grrrrr.

This is why grad students drink heavily and mutter bitterly from their Fortresses of Solitude. Well, one of reasons anyway.

The World's Most Expensive Cheap Coffee Table

Top: IKEA as-is, $2.

Shelf: IKEA as is, $4.

Metal separators and legs: $70

Cordless drill: $140 (?!!)

Bit set: $10

Total cost: $226.

I think I'm going to curl up in the corner and weep.

Halloween 2010!

Here's Piper and I dressed for Halloween. You'll note Piper is not a huge fan of her costume.

From T-Mobile Pictures

Here I am as a hunter:

From T-Mobile Pictures

Here Paul is as a vampire:

From T-Mobile Pictures

The hunter strikes with holy water and silver knife! (Not an angry drunk, like Paul says.)

From T-Mobile Pictures

The beast is slain!

From T-Mobile Pictures

Happy Halloween, Y'all!

My First Presentation(TM)

Last week I went to Utah to give my first conference presentation. I was nervous, but also excited. I felt like I had produced a good paper, wisely chosen a conference light on medieval Chinese scholars (or sinologists in general), and even pulled together a Powerpoint (mostly memorized!). But it was a new experience and those are always a bit nerve-racking. I had been told not to sweat it because, as a mere grad student, little was expected, but I was sure I was doing the bare minimum to meet an "acceptable" grade.

So I was really surprised when the first presenter got up and mumbled his way through his paper. He also ran long and had to be chased off the stage. In fact, there were only two presenters--including me--in the two afternoon panels that had Powerpoints. I felt special. Also overly prepared, which is a comforting feeling. Did I mention there were maybe ten people in the audience? Nothing like feeling you're just reading a paper in front of a class to take the stress out of being a presenter for the first time. I was also supposed to be the moderator for my panel but a certain English professor took over that duty.

Overall, it was a good introduction to academic conferences and what presenting entailed. Plus, they treated me to an exceptionally fancy and extraordinarily expensive dinner the night before! How could I complain?

Rallying Up the Demons of Your Soul

(Note: Half of this was written three weeks ago. I feel shamed that it took so long to finish.)

Monday was the much-anticipated and long-awaited GREEN DAY concert!!! It was so much fun! It was the best concert I have ever been to. I left feeling like I should mail them an envelope with fifty more dollars in it. And when was the last time you feel like you owed the band money? Thanks to my fine freeway driving skills and the knowledge that Arizona folk don't show up for things as early as Utah folks, we arrived 40 minutes early which was just enough time to use the restroom, buy T-shirts (I am now the world's best sister), and get snowcones! Snowcones should be served at more concerts, I think. Anyway, no one seemed particularly interested in AFI, the opening act, who strangely took the stage ten minutes early. When has a concert ever started early? If you ever have a chance to see part of AFI live, please do so because the lead singer is hilarious. The only word I can use to describe his performance is "angular." Ponder that. Paul couldn't controlling his giggling. Here's a picture of us with bonus Facebook angle.

From T-Mobile Pictures

You can see our seats were a little far back, but perfectly centered. I figured Green Day would come on around 8 and play until 10, maybe 10:15 with encore. Oh no. That is not how Green Day rolls. They played for three hours straight. No intermission, only two slow songs the entire setlist. It was AWESOME. High-energy does not even begin to describe it. We were on our feet the whole time, bouncing around and singing along. There was a lot of audience participation--some people sang, two people played the guitar, and one guy dove off the stage into the audience. At one point, there was an entire crowd of people on stage singing. It was pretty sweet. The highlight may have been watching Billie Joe (the singer and guitarist) help a 14 yr old kid play the guitar. He'd been called up and played the first part of a medley, but it quickly became apparent that he couldn't play the rest. Rather than just thanking him and sending him back in the crowd, Billie Joe bent down and showed him which notes to play for the rest of the song. I thought that was really, really nice. The kid already had his cool concert experience, but Green Day went the extra mile and sacrificed some of the attention and energy just to be nicer to some random kid. Going the extra mile kind of sums up the concert in general. Lots of pyrotechnics, lots of running, lots of everything. I had heard that Green Day was one of the best live bands and that was no exaggeration. When Billie Joe yelled at the end of the concert that the band considered it "our honor, no, our ****ing privilege" to perform, you actually believed him.

Did I mention there was a homage to Benny Hill in lieu of an intermission?

Who are the People in Your Neighborhood?

I had a major epiphany as I was getting ready to go back to school a few weeks ago (School started the 17th, ugh.)--we live near a huge university. Universities are surrounded by cheap, fast food. Why am I not taking advantage of this?!! So I've tried three new restaurants in the last two weeks, two of those with Paul.

1. Mr. Chao's Asian Bistro. I don't know why it's called Mr. Chao's when it's run by a Vietnamese chef named Tran, but whatever. Best American-style Chinese food ever! Super-tasty, ridiculously fast, the only downside is that it's nowhere near ASU. They make sesame chicken just the way I like--sticky sweet.

2. Republic Ramen. I'd heard good things about this place, but the whole "authentic Japanese-style ramen" angle had be scared. The thought of noodles and broth was more appealing Thursday, rain day 2 of 3 this week. I tried the shoyu, a soy-flavored broth, with pork. It was lip-smacking delicious and I will be warming the remaining broth up after this post just to drink. (I ate the rest for lunch on Saturday, it was even better the next day.) Their boba slushes were lousy though.

3. America's Best Taco Shop. Aptly named. They are the prefect trinity of cheap, tiny, and absurdly delicious. The store is also covered in cute one-of-a-kind pieces of art. It's small, filled with beaten-up furniture, and the owner talks with you a mile a minute with barking out orders in Spanglish. The guacamole is to die for and they give you garnish baggies--with cucumbers!

I can only wait to see what pocketbook-friendly delicious dives I will find this week. (That's right, I say pocketbook. Deal with it.)

Piper and Jules

This is a story about Piper and Jules. This is Piper in case you've forgotten. This is Jules. Jules is a chair, from IKEA. Jules used to belong to Paul, but now Jules is Piper's. This is a recent development. For a year, Jules sat empty when Paul wasn't using the computer. Now, Piper is in it all of the time. Paul has to forcibly evict her to use the computer. He gets up for a second and wham! Piper is there, lying all stretched out and pretending she totally did not just sprint across the room and jump into the chair before he turned around. We've decided to get a Jules for just Piper, but exactly where does one put a chair solely for cat lounging? I'm open to suggestions.

July, The Month that Blogging Forgot

Sorry for not blogging for so long. July was a crazy month. Assume it action-packed with family, holidays, vacations, etc. Here are the highlights:

June 26-July 6--in Provo. Send Matt off to the MTC, celebrate the Fourth, miss the Muhlestein reunion and feel appropriated shamed.

July 6-13--my sister visits. We do much swimming and watching of forbidden TV.

July 10-13--my mother visits. Watching of forbidden TV dramatically decreases, swimming and hanging out on the balcony exponentially increase.

July 18-23--I work on an abstract, which is subsequently accepted for a conference presentation. Feel smug for a while.

July 22--Tempe Town Dam breaks. This would be big news if it was a real dam and not like a dike. Also if the breach actually flooded something besides a dry river bed. Here's some pictures.



The remains of the "dam."



Looking east to show how far the resevoir dropped. Note there are only small pools upstream.



Looking down in the resevoir from the dam to show how low the level is.

July 29-Aug. 1--Paul's brother Spencer visits. Obscene amounts of swimming ensue.

In between I cleaned everything down to the baseboards and worked on that pesky paper. Oh, and I painted and decorated a bookshelf and a set of stacking boxes. Have some more pictures.



Look at those pillows! It's like a freakin' magazine.



Sorry for the blurry cell phone pic. We really do need to get a camera.

Umm, so that's that then.

Back in the USSR...Er, Provo

Hail Comrades! We're back in Provo and (mostly) loving it. I thought my bottom was going to fall off during church--those benches are hard and I was sore after the drive--but other than that, it's been great. We've already seen a lot of my extended family thanks to my brother's non-farewell farewell; sadly, we will not be seeing much of Paul's as we won't be trekking down to the cabin for the family reunion this year. We just not here long enough to do everything we'd like and the travel time makes it too impractical. Luckily, I hear the reconstruction of the deck will continue on despite the absence of Paul's strapping muscles.

Still we're happy to be here and visiting our families. We haven't seen them since Christmas and the weather is much nicer in the summer. Although the white Christmas was nice...though the driving is much easier in the broad light of day and on ice-free roads. Maybe Christmas should be moved to July.

The Fashionable and the Insane

Summer is in full-swing and that means I've moved over from changing stuff around the house to changing stuff about me. That's right, summer is when I decide to cut/dye/dry shampoo my hair, lose weight/tone/exercise more/eat better, get rid of worn out/ill-fitting/ten years out of date clothing, and paint my nails regularly and exciting colors. (Fuchsia! Teal! Lime!) I even plan to try out new makeup. I make the same decisions every year and they rarely make it to action. For example, since 2000 in the category of hair:

Number of dye jobs: 1
Number of radical haircuts: 3
Number of styling products regularly used: 0
Days of the week hair is styled: 0.5 (half-hearted effort on Sundays)

And for this year in the category of makeup:
Number of new lip products purchased: 7 (5 in a trial set)
Number of new lip products worn at least once: 1

It's not the best of track records. This year I have painted my nails once and been thoroughly annoyed at how fast it chips (seriously, one day?!!) and used some foaming shiny hair product once. I'm looking at leftover Panda Express for lunch, haven't even put on makeup, and threw my newly-cut hair into a ponytail. Why do I get these silly notions every year? What is it about summer that makes me want to redo everything in sight?

I'm still dying my hair purple this year after the family photos though. And trying the teal nail polish. And eating better.

Maybe I should just give up. :)

We Finally Have a Car Again!!!!

I put a lot of exclamation points because this was very, very, very exciting for us. After 15 (!) days of fruitless searching, disappointments, and two failed inspections, we finally found, inspected, and purchased a car!!! YAY!!!

This is our new car:




















It's a 2005 Sebring Coupe. It's awesome and I hope we're best friends forever. I love this car. It's nice and clean and everything works properly (including the CD player). There's plenty of leg room all around and yet you could still fit two adult bodies in the trunk. It's only drawback is that it has one of the chinzy gas caps that are attached to the door. Well, and the gas tank is on the passenger side. Other than that, I hope it is the best car ever made and we never have to buy one for again for a long time. The best part about the car is that it was within our original budget ($6500), which we had completely given up on and resigned ourselves to car payments for a while. I like to think of it as a car miracle.



Also when I say it's our car, I really mean it's my car.

This Week, I Swear

This week, I swear, is trying to break me. On Wednesday, Paul was in an accident. No human injuries but the Accord was declared a total lost. Thursday a bill from my health insurance came, informing me that they weren't paying anything for a doctor's visit. Friday and Saturday were spent look for and at cars. Sunday my e-mail address was swiped by a spambot. Sorry for anyone who was offered cheap Canadian Viagra. Oh, and thanks to Memorial Day--which I normally enjoy--inspection and purchase of a new car is delayed until Tuesday.

I have keep remaining myself how these are all inconveniences and annoyances, but not disasters. No one is hurt, the claim for the Accord was settled quickly, we're pre-approved for an auto loan, and found a replacement car. I fixed my e-mail (I think) and Paul has tomorrow off to play.

Oh well. At least I wrestled the doors on the bookshelf/pantry.

Anniversary Week

We reached our sixth wedding anniversary, but rather than cram everything into one day, we decided to have an anniversary week. Okay, really it was because we were too tired to exchange gifts, go out to dinner, and watch a movie all on one night. Yes, we are super-lame. What's your point?

Anyway, we tried a new Italian place one of Paul's coworkers recommended and oh my gosh! It was the best food ever! I had gnocchi alla vodka and Paul had the special, which was some sort delicious steak wrapped in bacon topped with some cream sauce on a bed of mashed potatoes with asparagus. It cost $30 and was completely worth it. And when I tell you something was $30, you KNOW it is definitely worth the money. Plus, I think I have a new favorite food. They have a lunch menu which is much cheaper, so we have a new lunch spot. I just wish they served lunch on the weekends! It was a very fancy restaurant, good for special occasions.

For gifts, Paul got two video games and I got a lovely ring and tickets to see Green Day in August. So if you want to go, submit your application now (250 words or less). Paul's new games are very good, they keep sucking me in and I keep blurting out orders to him. I keep telling him not to shoot innocent animals in Red Dead Redemption (which looks amazing, FYI--it feels just like being in the middle of Utah with the mountains and the barren wasteland all around you) and to load the flashlight in between squeals of terror in Alan Wake. I'm lucky that he thinks it's adorable that I care for the virtual him and not annoyed at constantly having orders barked at him.

We wussed out of going to a movie and instead choose something we could watch in the comfort of our own home, preferably while lying on the couch. Don't judge us. So we watched "The Dark Knight" on Blu-Ray. (Paul is always trying to show me the error of my DVD-loving ways and I'll admit, it does look way better on Blu-Ray.) I had forgotten how truly good that movie is. That movie is better than Christian Bale is hot. And we all know how hot Christian Bale is. (Muy caliente!)

Well, I need to go make dinner, but sentimentalists never fear! Here's your declaration of our undying love: undying love! Feel better?

So There's Been More Setbacks--And Progress!

So there's been some more setbacks, but also progress on the bookshelf-to-pantry project. First, setbacks:

1. IKEA cannot order in pieces from other stores.
2. The back-up doors will not be in stock for approx. two weeks.
3. The paint is latex-based, not acrylic like I need. This means the paint has a tendency to peel off when scratched.

Now, the progress:
1. I learned from a most helpful IKEA employee that the company is releasing two new styles of glass doors for the bookshelf I own. Unfortunately, since they are new, they can arrive in store anytime between now and July when the new catalog is distributed.
2. I finished painting (yes, even the touch-up work, stupid latex).
3. With Paul's kind help, the legs were attached.
4. We moved it into the kitchen! Yay!

Here's a (crappy cellphone) picture of how it looks.


I also moved the previous shelving unit (I don't know what to call it exactly) into the second bedroom and turn it on its side. It is now holding a bunch of books and Paul's video games, with my Barbies displayed on its top. This has freed up some two shelves over my desk, which I intend to raise and change the brackets on (because they are ugly and don't go with anything). Also, now we own a level, so that might be good to use the second time around too. Finally, these new and improved shelves over my desk can hold my Chinese book collection, thus keeping all of my "work" and reference books in one convenient location. I feel like I've gone mad with successful projectitis!

Now, if only those darn doors would come in.

So There's Been Some Setbacks...

So there's been some setbacks in the Great Summer Project of 2010. First, Lowe's couldn't match the color (the placemat was too reflective), so I had to break out a color wheel and go with what looked closest. (Pineapple Mousse, in case you were wondering.) Then IKEA rudely discontinued the doors I was going to use. There were as of last night approximately 10 left in the entire United States. This apparently caused quite the run on my back-up choice as it too is unavailable with an estimated availability date of "unknown." So now I'm going down to talk to an IKEA associate to see if they can order from other stores or at least tell me when the ($30 more) back-up doors will be back in stock. I can order them online of course, if I'm willing to pay $100 delivery fee for $70 doors. (Hint: I am not. I'm not really even pleased with $70 doors, when my first choice was a more reasonable $40.) Finally, the side I had a little trouble with the primer on but didn't bother fixing it because that was going to be the side that didn't show? Yeah, that's totally the side that's going to show and it's the only part I screwed up on.

In positive news, I have been bravely forging ahead nonetheless. The bookshelf has been disassembled, primed, and painted completely with one coat. I am now off to a different Lowe's to get another sample-size jar of Pineapple Mousse for coat #2.

Oh, and I forgot to take pictures.

The Great Summer Projects Begin, Or The Return of Boredom

Exactly one week to the day when I finished my last final and I've kicked into high Summer Project mode. Project one will be to paint, add doors, and add feet to a generic small IKEA bookshelf and move it into the dining room so it can be used as a pantry. I intend to have Lowe's custom-blend the paint color to match the green on the placemats currently decorating the fridge. You may remember them from last year's Summer Project: Kitchen Border. That never really got off the ground, but if the bookshelf goes well....Anyway, the bookshelf now in the dining room will be turned on its side and moved into the second bedroom, where I can display all of my Barbies on top and fill the inside with drawers of video games, art, and books. Aesthetically, both rooms will come together better and storage-wise, the space will be better distributed as well.

I'll take (blurry) pictures with my cell phone (curse you, lost camera!) of each step of the process, just in case things go hilarious awry. I plan to prime the small bookshelf tonight and paint it tomorrow. That way I can rearrange and reorganize the books as soon as possible, instead of keeping them in piles which are starting to take over. How did we get so many books? No, wait, I know this one. It's because I never say no to books. They are always worth the money.

Well, got to go. Those DVDs aren't going to rearrange themselves.

The Shirt

Here's a picture of the very awesome t-shirt Paul got me for my birthday. The first image is a generic picture of the shirt (though mine is white, not olive).

Here's a picture of the poster the shirt is based on, so you can read the writing at the bottom more easily.

It took all my force of will not to wear it two days after my birthday when a delegation of visiting Chinese scholars was in class. So tempting, but must...not... cause...international...incidents...until...degree...in...hand.

Done with the School

Done with school, done with school, done with school, done with school, done with school, done with school, done with school, done with school, done!

(Well, until August anyway.)

No, We Are Not a Cancer Hospital

No, we are not a cancer hospital. Yes, we are sure. Yes, that is the number, but it is a private residence. PLEASE STOP CALLING AT 6:00 AM!

For reasons I do not understand, we are constantly getting calls (on our cell phone!) from elderly women looking for a cancer hospital. They usually call in the wee morning hours, but the two calls I fielded today were at least after 10 am. It's always elderly women, and it's always a cancer hospital. I think that is the only reason when Paul stumbles out of bed only an hour before the alarm goes off, trips over the Japanese books I pushed off the bed after studying, mutters what I suspect are choice words under his breath, and then answers with an uber-patient "I think you have the wrong number. No, that is this number, but it actually a private residence. Sorry about that." By now, unless I'm feeling particularly cranky, I just say, "Sorry, but this is a private residence. Don't feel bad, it happens all the time." (If I'm feeling particularly cranky, I say "You have the wrong number" and hang up. It's hard to hang up on little old ladies though.)

The worse part is I don't even know what number they should be calling. Because at this point, I'm ready to just hand it out to the elderly callers myself then call the hospital and tell them how sick I am of their 6 am wake up calls!

Oh, You Wacky Legislators!

Living in Utah, it was hard to imagine sillier/more time-wasting bills existed, but then I moved to Arizona. And holy cow, it's a whole new kind of crazy. The state is in the middle of a horrific budget crisis, with massive cuts to education, social services, and a slew of other departments. Perhaps you've hear about the many state parks that are being closed or the vast number of rest stops the state has already closed. (Side note: someone sent in a letter to the editor supporting the closures arguing it would force people to develop stronger bladder muscles. Sadly, it was not satire. Guess even bladders need to pull themselves up by the bootstraps.) In light of all this budget hemorrhaging, here are a smattering of bills the state legislature has taken up:

Bill 1024 aka "The Birther Bill"
This bill would require presidential candidates to submit proof to the state of Arizona that they met the conditions for presidential office holders in the federal Constitution (natural-born citizens over 35). Aside from not being the purview of the state, the fact that it was spawned by a person who doesn't think Obama is natural-born citizen alone makes it cringe-worthy. I swear, I think some people would only be convinced if they had a time machine and watched every moment of the man's life beginning at birth. Of course, I also don't see what makes Kenya such a terrifying place, but YMMV. The bill passed the House and is awaiting a Senate vote.

Bill 1104 aka "The We Don't Need No Stinkin' Permits Bill"
This bill (since signed into law) repealed previous legislation that required training and a permit to carry a concealed weapon. Now any US citizen age 21 or older may carry a concealed weapon virtually anywhere. (Exceptions include federal buildings, airports, and private property where the owner has explicitly forbidden concealed weapons.) Needless to say, the police and responsible gun enthusiasts are not pleased. (The paper published this gem from a life-long NRA member and current concealed weapons permit holder: "The problem is that everyone thinks they know how to use a gun.") This comes on the heels of legislation permitting guns in places where liquor is served unless a sign of certain size forbidding it is displayed at the entrance--it's really weird to walk into P.F. Chang's and see "No Guns Permitted" hanging above the bar--and exempting guns manufactured and sold in the state from federal regulation including registration. I don't even begin to see the logic in that. Which brings us to the granddaddy of bad Arizona legislation:

Bill 1070 aka "The Illegal Immigration Bill"
I don't think I need to tell you much about this bill given the media coverage it's received, other than it requires immigrants/legal residents to produce documentation when asked by police. Police may make such a request if they have "reasonable suspicion" that a person may be in the country illegally. I shouldn't have to tell you how bad that looks. (No pun intended). Recently signed into law, it is certain to be challenged in court by a number of groups including the US government (immigration is a federal right). I feel sorry for any cop out there--either ask every single person you interact with or risk being sued for racial profiling. I don't think there are many people who don't think our immigration system needs a massive overhaul, but this isn't the answer. What really galls me about this particular bill (besides that it's very much based on racial prejudice) is that the legislature passed the bill knowing full well that it was going to be tied up in courts for years at a SIGNIFICANT cost to the taxpayers. The state is so broke that it had to sell and then lease back most of the government buildings, scrapped its state healthcare programs (putting it at risk for losing all government funding for Medicaid and Medicare), and had to have a judge issue a two-year stay on an order mandating treatment for the mentally ill in the state's care, and raise taxes. And after all that, the legislature still thinks fighting for a bill which will certainly not pass judicial muster is a good use of its limited funds. Garrrr!

Birthday Wishes

I'd like to thank all of you for your fine birthday wishes. I had a bit of a rough morning (eventually I'll write about that--it's part of an ongoing saga), but by afternoon things were peachy. I met Paul for lunch, which I had only done once before, and enjoyed a surprisingly tasty and unstomach-offending Brazilian flatbread pizza slice. It was nice to see Paul for lunch--he always seems so happy to see me! Anything to break up the workday, I guess. I made all my Chinese class, was "strongly encouraged" to come to a meet-and-greet for visiting Chinese scholars on Thursday, and came home to whisked away to a local steakhouse for a delicious prime rib dinner. Then I had to come back home and study for a Japanese test, which was a bummer but at least I was able to take the time to go out to a nice dinner.

Post #213: In Which Jennifer Gets Religion

I imagine this blog post catches most--if not all--of you by surprise. "What?" You're saying. "That blog's still active?!!" Your second thought is probably something along the line of "Jennifer gets religion? Huh? Did she not before?" or "Jennifer and religion? This is new." Either way, I figured I've confused every one of my (few) readers by the title alone. And thus my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-fourth complete!

Seriously, though, I don't talk much about religion much. I've always considered it to be a rather private and personal matter. Those of you who have seen my Facebook profile may have been tipped off to this by my religious beliefs being listed as "Fiercely Private." And as such, I am a horrible missionary. I do not keep Books of Mormon stashed about to hand out, I do not pray to have missionary experiences, and I do not engage others in conversations about their religious beliefs. I have always had the mindset that if someone wants to discuss it, they can come to me.

And thus I was approached about two weeks ago by a Chinese girl. She looked familiar, but I couldn't place her. She said she was very interested in my religion. I was floored. Based on our short conversation, I couldn't tell if she meant interested in a religious way or interested in a just curious way. We agree to meet in two days to discuss whatever she wanted to know. So two days later, I found myself trying to explain the whole "Apostasy and Restoration" thing, plus basic Christianity, how the Angel Moroni is on the top of temples (not our God), the Protestant Reformation, and the concept of the light of Christ.

It turned out she was interested in a religious way! Throughout the conversation it seemed like she was looking for two things. First, that she could receive help from divine beings. Second, that she could find something that explained how to live life. She was Buddhist, so I think that was why she was interested in those things--they're some of the few things Christianity and Buddhism have in common so they were more easily relatable.

I haven't talked to her much since then--I found the Chinese equivalent of Mormon.org and directed her there to learn more. I also located a Book of Mormon in simplified Chinese and some pamphlets that cover the first three missionary discussions, which I need to actually get from said missionaries.

I don't know if she's still interested or even if I did a good job of answering her questions. I am comforted knowing that if she really is interested in the Church, the Lord will send someone else to help her along the way. She also seemed to understand the light of Christ idea and that makes me happy. I had a religion teacher once say that it was his personal belief that eventually all people sincerely searching for God and happiness would find them. I think that makes sense with how I believe God operates. I hope she finds what she's looking for.

And that's how Jennifer got religion.

Christmas 2009, Part 2: Actually Christmas 2009

When last I left off, we were about to leave for Utah. Driving back was a bit long, but not too bad as virtually all of the trip was on I-15. There were some pretty strong winds along the California-Nevada border, but we all made it through. Nick rode in the backseat, which was nice of him. Paul's dad also briefly drove the car which gave Paul and I no more than 4 hrs blocks of driving and was also very nice. Paul drove right through Vegas, which was very stressful for him but went off perfectly. I know he hates to drive--especially on freeways--but it just isn't feasible for me to drive such a long distance by myself. We learned that driving on unlit highways is scary, that it is apparently entirely reasonable to drive 70 miles in the snow until someone slides off the road (not us, thankfully), and that people in Utah will drive 90 mph with no space between cars even in the most rural of environments. I really don't understand this one. There's like five cars on the highway, why must we all be crowded together? We got in pretty late on the 23rd, so we pretty much just crashed. On the 24th we did last minute shopping and wrapping in the afternoon, then headed over to my parents' for a tasty dinner and unwrapping of presents. Then we returned to Paul's house for another dinner and various Christmas traditions, including reading "When the Red Ranger Came Calling," which is horrifically sad for a children's book and has no reason being read ever, much less Christmas. I secretly think Paul's dad forces us to read it every year just to see us cry (or at least me). After that, we all went to bed. In the morning, we opened presents with Paul's family. There was much rejoicing in books and CDs and DVDs and clothing and so on. In the afternoon, we went back to my parents' to eat Christmas dinner and see what my siblings had gotten from Santa. There was a fair amount of Rock Banding. Eventually, Paul and I returned to his parents' house and crashed again. You may note there is a lot of crashing going on. This is because multiple holiday excursions and visits and celebrations are very tiring.