Sometimes I am a Terrible Pregnant Woman

Sometimes I am a terrible pregnant woman.

I thought about this last night as I lay awake in the wee hours of the morning.

I do not read baby books.

I pay very little attention to what I eat.

I have interviewed no pediatricians.

Listening to his heartbeat at the doctor's office does nothing for me.

His nursery is not all set up--he doesn't even have a nursery.

Feeling him move is not magical, it just hurts.

We put together his crib last night and I realized I should have built the cat tree first because the cat tree parts take up more room.

That's right, I put the cats before the baby.

I am a terrible pregnant woman.

I wish to be clear.

I am very attached to the wee Danny T.

I am very glad that he is healthy and (as much as a fetus can be) happy.

I would be devastated if that were not the case.

But...

I would like a way of interacting with him that doesn't involve one of us whaling on the other

Or constant heartburn.

I want to be able to move about comfortably.

I would like not to down seven pills, supplements, and capsules a day

Because he is sucking me dry.

I am sick of waiting 30-45 minutes for an appt that takes 10 mins.

Every other week.

(Now every week! Yay!)

Did I mention it takes 20 mins just to drive there?

I am happy to have this baby, but I am SICK of being pregnant.

Have Some Pregnancy Update Stuff

Here, have some pregnancy update stuff. I'll put the pictures first, since that's what people want apparently. This is me at 34 weeks.

This shot does a good job of showing how low he is, but makes me look gigantic overall since it was take from an upward angle. Here's a straight on shot:

Now, some of you may feel that my shirt is too loose to adequately display my state of pregnancy. Such people will be taken into the woods and shot. Are you 34 weeks pregnant? No? Then you get no say and comfort wins.

Speaking of, being pregnant has gotten a lot more uncomfortable, just in the last few days. It sometimes seems impossible to cool off. Church is almost always so over air-conditioned as to be freezing, but today even that wasn't enough for me. I feel the unpleasantness of the first trimester (nausea, fatigue) has combined with the discomfort of the third trimester (big, awkward, constantly being pummeled from within, frequent trips to the bathroom). Sleeping can be rough--eight hours of sleep broken up into two-hr increments=zombie, but falling asleep can just as hard. (There is nothing good to do at 2:30 am.)

I suppose the upside is that the more uncomfortable I am, the more appealing giving birth is. Also, we've started birthing classes and an epidural looks more appealing every time. (Did you know they won't even give you one until you're 5 cm dilated? That's halfway!) Anyway, hopefully I'll be more chipper tomorrow. The juxtaposition of this post and the previous post is almost too much.

Is This What Being an Optimist Feels Like?

So it's been a rough, long month, yet I don't feel bummed. Have I suddenly morphed into an optimist? It's all so very strange. Let's review:

Unexpected car repairs and maintenance: $1000.

Time spent at AAA: 9.5 hrs.

Number of Xboxes broken: 2.

Temperature: 112 degrees and climbing.

Status of pool: dirty.

Status of apartment: unresolved.

Status of baby: Able to kick ribs with ease.

Size of self: whale.

That's a pretty depressing list, right? But this is how I feel:

Unexpected car repairs and maintenance: All new tires, brake pads and rotors, suspension work and alignment, plus a bunch of regular maintenance. The Milky White Stallion is once again in tip-top shape and should be for a while to come. $1000 seems like an okay price for all that.

Time spent at AAA: Spent it reading for comp exams. Forced me through some really boring sections of important books.

Number of Xboxes broken: Was able to snag a (more) reliable 2nd gen console for a discounted price. It lasted less than five days, but was able to exchange it without hassle. Netflix streaming flows again!

Temperature: Okay, it's ridiculously hot. But we have AC and ceiling fans. And our power didn't go out, like much of Mesa this afternoon.

Pool: No longer green and swimmable again. Plus, with the heat, it's comfortable to swim at 7:00 pm.

Status of apartment: Back at the beginning of May, we received a notice that our apartment complex had been foreclosed on and was being auctioned off. After six weeks in limbo, we learned Monday that it didn't sell and the bank signed an agreement to continue management. So everything stays the same until our lease runs out in September.

Status of baby: Holy crap, I have never been so pummeled. They say he'll calm down when he's out of room, but he's running out of time. He's favoring the rib shots these days and sometimes, it's like his foot gets caught on them and that really hurts. The upside is I literally never have to worry or count movements because he is always moving.

Size of self: Yes, I feel like big and heavy and like a whale. But according to the doctor's, I am actually quite small and lightweight for a 32+ week pregnant woman. Paul is convinced that all gain is baby-related, which is a very charitable position to have. At any rate, when you feel gigantic, it's good to know that it is merely how you feel and not how you actually are.