The Thrill of Minor Illness, Laundry, and Paid Employment

Sorry I haven't posted anything for awhile, there just hasn't been much to say. As the title says, I've been battling a cold and working 40 hours a week and not much else. Bridget and Audra went to Kending for the weekend, we did laundry. Ooohhh, I get goosebumps just thinking about the excitement of fresh linens. How could a beautiful weekend on the beach possibly compare? Paul watched "The Host" and "28 Weeks Later," which he recommends if you're Nick. We've developed a kind of comfortable business agreement with our local video lady. She overcharges us 10 kuai each time and we don't complain. She in turn doesn't charge us a late fee regardless of when we actually return the movie. We tried to see if returning the DVD on time prevented overcharges, but it didn't, so we decided we might as well keep them as long as we liked. Paul also finally consented to new shoes after I told him it was literally keeping me up at night. I don't particularly like them, but they are the proper size, waterproof, and cheap.

Oh, and we also saw "Stardust" last night. It was pretty good, and we learned that--like those punk Brits--the Taiwanese are much amused by men in women's clothing. Alas, much of the humor was through wordplay and apparently it didn't translate well. Since I bashed the British, I might as well make up for it by tossing in the following story. Earlier in the month, I ran into another Causcasian on the street outside the apartment. We had run into a few others here in Changhua, but they were all Kiwis. (New Zealanders can work without a visa in Taiwan for 6 months a year, so most of the English-speakers we meet are Kiwis.) Yet, as soon as this woman opened her mouth, it was revealed that she was not a Kiwi, but a fellow American. I was so pleased. Alas, it was not to be. Turned out she was Canadian. Later I ran into her and I almost addressed her as a fellow Canadian, but then I remembered that I wasn't Canadian. Now, if I can't tell the difference between Americans and Canadians, I think it's time to drop the charade and stop pretending to be different countries. We could call it the the United States of North America sans Mexico, or USNA for short. Quebec could take the opportunity to declare its independence, you could buy Clearly Canadian south of the border, and you wouldn't need a passport to travel between the two countries anymore (thank you, congressional legislation set to take effect on January 1, 2008). Where are the losers I ask?

I accidentally reserved train tickets to Tainan for next Saturday, so between that and of course Halloween and the Great Halloween Dyeathon, maybe I'll have something to talk about next week. Sorry for the excessive lameness, I think my Sims have a more exciting life than I do right now.

Finally, I would like to send special birthday greetings to Grandpa Bussio, who is now a respectable eighty-four years old.

The Virtues of Cats (As Told By Paul)

While I was admiring our neighbor's teacup Yorkie, Paul asked me what I was looking at. When I told him a dog, he scofffed. Paul dislikes dogs. A lot. I find this puzzling, since dogs are very friendly and lovable. In response to my assertion that dogs are good pets, Paul offered the following list of the virtues of cats.

1. Cats are actually lovable.
2. Cats are low-maintenence.
3. Cats are clean.
4. Cats restrict certain activities to a litter box.
5. Cats have a sense of personal space and decorum.

I think this says a lot about Paul. It also seems like an awfully harsh criticism of Max, if you take it in the reverse. I like to think of Max as too full of love not to want to spend every moment with you, even when you are in the bathroom. As for the location of his activities, well, you just watch your step. And it really wasn't his fault that I didn't bathe him as often as perhaps may have been desirable. Still, what's a little beagle funk in the summer? Is he to blame for having gallbladder disease and needing daily medication and the twice-yearly blood work-up? Surely not. Finally, I am sure we can all agree that no creature is more lovable than Maximilian Q. Bussio, daring member of the French Resistance.

Jolts of All Kinds

Today started as a reasonable day, but it quickly turned strange. I went in at lunch and met up with Paul. We went to the bank where we deposited a small fortune and then transfered it back to America. The exchange rate has really tanked in the last month, which is unfortunate from one perspective, but having fewer Taiwanese dollars make one American dollar is great when you're going from NT to USD. Anyway, that all went off without a hitch and we returned to school. My co-teacher graciously did opening for me today (which was great since I suck at faking enthusiaum about today being the 17th or whatever). The kid were drowning in clothing. Seriously, they were wearing pants and long sleeve-shirts or jackets, either of which was worn over a tee-shirt. Within 60 seconds of starting class, they were all dying of heat stroke. It's cooling down, but my gosh. You would have thought it was in the low sixties, not the low eighties. The secretaries are wearing jackets and scarves so they don't catch cold! The SPE kids were fine, aside from the constant dressing and undressing. (Less they forget their excess clothing they would put it on before switching activities, only to take it off again after arriving.) The older kids were something else. My kids--who are normally and easily the best behaved--were whiny, grumpy, and just plain mean-spirited. Kids who are never behavior problems were yelling at each other and hitting each other with intent to cause injury, it was just wacky. The problems in Paul's class were even worse. He had a 3A student (10 yrs old) who he had previously described as a "tiny geisha" because she is so very shy, easily embarrassed, and very giggly. She screamed, "F--- you!" at another student in class. (She defended herself by saying the student had said the same thing to her in Chinese earlier and that her sister, who is one of Paul's 5A students, had taught it to her. Her sister vehemently denied it and blamed it on the media. Just to round out the story.) While impressed that she chose to answer in English with spoken to in Chinese and with her flawless pronounciation, Paul nevertheless promptly sent her on a one-way trip to the principal's office. His 5A--while usually not pillars of unbounded English-learning glee--were downright prickly over having to do their work. I don't know what it was about today. Last week, all of the student had very serious tests in their Chinese schools, but I don't know why all the fallout would hit today and not Monday.

Worn down from dealing with so much unexpected nonsense, we opted to eat dinner at a restaurant. We ate at McDonald's. Even here, it's sad when McDonald's is where you go for a sit-down dinner. We rode home and were watching "In Good Company" and chatting with Audra over today-related wackiness when the doors shook and everything jolted forward and back. It was really weird. It was an earthquake that lasted 5 seconds, just literally long enough to move everything forward and back one time in a non-smooth fashion. Another 5.7. I checked and there have been five earthquakes in the last ten days. Ah well, things will probably quiet down for a while now.

Just a Quickie

Just a quickie post--Paul did get his haircut on Saturday, so I'll try to post a pic tomorrow. We are being "strongly encouraged" to teach more phonics, which is generally okay except for those devilish vowels!!! (You can tell I feel very strongly about this because of the many exclamation points.) I had to try to help these poor little Taiwanese kids try to sound out words to find the long vowel sounds. I felt so bad for them. Accents really, really, really screw with vowel sounds. Apparently, I too speak accented English because "huge" does not a long vowel "u," contrary to what the book says. (No doubt it was written by left-wing pinko commies from New England trying to impose their linguisto-tyranny upon the free-speaking world.) Seriously, just listen to it: hewge. It's an "ew," not a "u." Arrrgh. Just thinking about it makes me want to beat up my sole East Coast roommate. Well, that and she stole my laundry detergent--my good lavender, anti-fungal detergent--and dumped SPE set-up on me today because she couldn't be bothered to ask where the activity plans were. Grrrr. Now I really want to kick her in the shins. A lot.

Lies Upon Lies

Okay, so Paul didn't get his hair cut, which is why there are no before and after pictures. Maybe tomorrow morning or (who am I kidding?) Saturday. I know he doesn't want to take the time to get his haircut, but it is getting dangerously long. Soon a ponytail with be necessary.

Let's see. Any other lies I've published? I'm dying my hair on Oct. 30. My mind was pretty much made up when I solicited votes, but the appalling apathy of voters today sealed the deal. Shame on you, the voters of today. Your apathy will only lead to further tyranny of my life. I hope you can bare the guilt!

On an amusing note--particularly for Mom--Paul has an awful class on Fridays. The other days another teacher has them. Anyway, very early on Paul came to the conclusion that the only way to establish any authority was to bust the kid at the top on the social hierarchy so far down he would never see light again. This is how he described it to the rest of the us: "You have think of it like prison. You just have to shank the biggest guy around to survive." Now whenever I really bust down a kid--especially when it's as much as to send a message to the rest of the class as to correct that individual's behavior, all I can think about is "I'm just shanking the biggest kid. Sorry, [Name]."

No Ark Needed, Just a Bunker and A Haircut

Well, we all survived the typhoon just fine. It was just like I imagined a typhoon would be for once. It was very, very windy and a little rainy. We only got maybe three inches of rain, but the wind just decimated the small trees and bushes. It even managed to blow down a street lamp (the little residental kind, not the large street kind), which made a big mess because it fell onto a porcelain planter and both of them broke into a million pieces. Anyway, we were stuck indoors for 2.5 days (church was cancelled for once). As an apartment, we resorted to many card games to keep insanity at bay.

On an unrelated note, Paul is going to get a haircut today. He doesn't know it yet, but it's coming. I was looking at him today in staff meeting, thinking, that hair is way too long, it's got to get cut. I'll take before and after pictures so you can judge for yourself.

Building an Ark

I was informed today by a chatty kindergartener that another typhoon is coming. Surprisingly, he was right. (The little kids love to say the weather is a typhoon because they like to spin around, which is the weather song action for typhoon. Surely, this is all obvious.) Frankly, I am getting sick of these typhoons. They always hit on Saturday, so we miss neither work nor church. I have decided that I am no longer going to let these weather bullies walk all over me. I will move about unimpeded by all amounts of wind and rain. I am awfully tempted to move a chair into the courtyard and just sit there. Read, listen to music, grade, eat, whatever, just show that I'm not letting any typhoon muck up my one free day yet again.

Oh, and Paul wants me to put in a little bit about how Kiss Your Eyes is the greatest shop ever. We can't find his contacts (and we've done an exhaustive search of our one room and its whopping three pieces of furniture) and yesterday he knocked his glasses onto the floor and the screw came out. Thankfully, Paul had a lousy but doable single extra contact so he could teach his morning hours (instead of me, who is very grumpy when woken up after only five hours of sleep and told my work-free morning is in fact a 12 hr day beginning in 20 minutes.) He came home at lunch and we walked the one block to the nearest glasses shop (as opposed to the three others which are only within a five block radius). It's name is Kiss My Eyes and it's supposed to be very expensive according to our boss. I think she means by Taiwanese standards because two tables full of frames for $25 or less. They sell high-end designer titanium frames which were advertised at $60. I don't know if they are really D&G or Donna Karen, but they certainly look real. Anyway, we gave the assistant the pieces of Paul's glasses and she told us to wait a minute. It actually took several and the proprietor himself to fix the glasses (because they had somehow also become bent in the fall). Paul put them on and swore they were better than the day he got them. They declined to charge us (which was awfully kind, since it did actually take some work to fix them) and Paul has been singing the praises of Kiss My Eyes ever since. Paul says--and this is an exact quote--"it's given us the courage to try Taiwanese dentistry." His unbrindled optimism may also be the result of our roommate's batting average of .667 for effective medical care. (Audra had a sinus infection and her TMJ was giving her extra grief so she dragged herself to the doctor's [conveniently located next door to Kiss My Eyes] and a physical therapist and chiropracter. The therapist was a wash, but the others were fine.)