Not Going Gentle Into That Good Night: The Swan Song of Zombie Shakespeare

Dear All,
I've come to call my laptop "Zombie Shakespeare" of late. I feel this captures its true spirit. Alas, Zombie Shakespeare appears to be not long for this world. It had been acting most peculiar--to the point that I downloaded Norton Antivirus to slay the apparent viral demons. Alack, Alack, 'twas not to be, for Zombie Shakespeare was not being cruelly tortured by the malicious creation of a bored sixteen-year-old, but by the mere ravages of age and underwhelming craftsmanship of Windows.
It began with a series of strokes three days ago. I would turn it on and it would take obscene lengths of time to load Windows, as opposed to the previously abominable time. Then, it would run every thing in staccato for the first, I don't know, hour. But if I stuck with it, Zombie Shakespeare would eventually shake off the dust and carry on.
Yesterday, however, the viral infection proved non-existence, the battery ceased charging at all, and Paul told me he couldn't get it to turn on. Things looked dark, but Zombie Shakespeare gutted it out with a little hand-holding. I moved all of the really important things, like my grad school stuff, the record of payments, and the Christmas episode of Bones onto my iPod. But in my heart, I felt it would keep going, though need repair.
Today, Zombie Shakespeare will not even load Windows, citing an "unmountable volume error." I don't know what that means, but it sounds bad and very permanent. It is also continuously trying to read the DVD/CD drive, apparently unable to determine there is no disk in the drive.
Oh, Zombie Shakespeare, you will be missed.

Zombie Shakespeare

September 2006-December 2007