Dear all,
I'm feeling more chipper these days, likely because I've finished (in rough but presentable for feedback form) my statements of purpose for my blasted grad school applications and won Guitar Hero III.
The statements of purpose were frustrating to me because I kept wanting to write "I want to come, I'm qualified, there's not a heck of a lot of other people interested, so why don't you just say yes and we'll all eat pumpkin pie shakes in honor of Thanksgiving? Everybody wins." But like I said, I finally got around to writing something and not thinking about it for a few days while my reviewers read over it and weep silently over how I could have strayed so far from the intent of the assignment.
Speaking of Thanksgiving, apparently Audra's pulling out all the cooking stops. The lovely purveyor of sandwiches in town even offered to let her borrow a real baking pan to cook a turkey in. Turkeys are incorrectly shown as chickens here, which bothers me to no end, but is really off on a tangent. Audra has a very elaborate Thanksgiving meal planned, which may involve breaking into the church (where there's a real oven, not a toaster oven!) or coercing the impressionable sister missionaries into letting us in. I'm not sure, I try to stay fuzzy on the misdemeanors of my roommates.
Finally, I rocked my way to eternal rock legend glory in Guitar Hero III. That's my character at the top of the blog, although I prefer the all black leather ensemble rather than the flame outfit she's sporting in the picture. I also play a SG guitar in "skyburst," which is a really awesome electric blue. Not that I like to toot my own horn or anything, but Paul hasn't beaten Guitar Hero III yet. I'm just sayin'.
Oh, and that fiend Paul is trying to convince me to spend $920 on a new laptop. I grant you, it's cool and better than the one I have right now (Duo 1.6 Ghz processors, a NVIDIA 8000 series video card, 1 GB of ram, 160 GB hard drive), but that's a lot of money. He is currently arguing that if we get it, he won't ask for his computer to be shipped, which will save $150. So the new laptop is more like $770, which is a great deal you see. This does beat his previous position that he would get me double-stuffed Oreos in exchange for the laptop. ("Those are the conditions of the deal," he said. "I will accept the purchasing of Oreos as a binding agreement.") **Paul wishes to state that it was more like someone walked into the store and began drooling over a certain laptop and he was merely trying to facilitate this person's further happiness by encouraging the purchase on the grounds that we have the funds on-hand.
Oh, here is a side note from a very funny essay by one Zack Parsons. Please do not search him out or seek for the rest of the article even if you are over 18, for he does not always use the cleanest of language. Trust me, I learned the hard way. It's from his "concise reference" on how to determine whether an interogation technique is or is not torture for the new Attorney General.
"The people asking you questions are wearing ski masks.
Unless you are being interrogated outdoors on a ski slope, ski masks are generally not an important part of lawful interrogation methods. A rule of thumb on this is if your interrogators are wearing any of the headgear worn by people you are supposed to shoot in Hogan's Alley [an old computer game] then you are about to get the *$%& tortured out of you. This includes black burglar masks, skullcaps and sunglasses, and oversized fedoras, but does not include police hats or old lady hats.
Somebody keeps trying to stop you from breathing.
On a scale of importance from one to ten I think it's fair to say that breathing rates about a 9.7 or 9.8. Maybe even a little higher. It's up there with "having a beating heart" and "not being on fire." When someone tries to get you to stop breathing, even temporarily, that's a pretty good sign you're being tortured. The other possibility is that they won't stop so you can breathe and they don't want you to answer any questions at all, in which case congratulations, you are just being murdered."
I don't know why, but the part about "oversized fedoras" gets me every time.
I'm feeling more chipper these days, likely because I've finished (in rough but presentable for feedback form) my statements of purpose for my blasted grad school applications and won Guitar Hero III.
The statements of purpose were frustrating to me because I kept wanting to write "I want to come, I'm qualified, there's not a heck of a lot of other people interested, so why don't you just say yes and we'll all eat pumpkin pie shakes in honor of Thanksgiving? Everybody wins." But like I said, I finally got around to writing something and not thinking about it for a few days while my reviewers read over it and weep silently over how I could have strayed so far from the intent of the assignment.
Speaking of Thanksgiving, apparently Audra's pulling out all the cooking stops. The lovely purveyor of sandwiches in town even offered to let her borrow a real baking pan to cook a turkey in. Turkeys are incorrectly shown as chickens here, which bothers me to no end, but is really off on a tangent. Audra has a very elaborate Thanksgiving meal planned, which may involve breaking into the church (where there's a real oven, not a toaster oven!) or coercing the impressionable sister missionaries into letting us in. I'm not sure, I try to stay fuzzy on the misdemeanors of my roommates.
Finally, I rocked my way to eternal rock legend glory in Guitar Hero III. That's my character at the top of the blog, although I prefer the all black leather ensemble rather than the flame outfit she's sporting in the picture. I also play a SG guitar in "skyburst," which is a really awesome electric blue. Not that I like to toot my own horn or anything, but Paul hasn't beaten Guitar Hero III yet. I'm just sayin'.
Oh, and that fiend Paul is trying to convince me to spend $920 on a new laptop. I grant you, it's cool and better than the one I have right now (Duo 1.6 Ghz processors, a NVIDIA 8000 series video card, 1 GB of ram, 160 GB hard drive), but that's a lot of money. He is currently arguing that if we get it, he won't ask for his computer to be shipped, which will save $150. So the new laptop is more like $770, which is a great deal you see. This does beat his previous position that he would get me double-stuffed Oreos in exchange for the laptop. ("Those are the conditions of the deal," he said. "I will accept the purchasing of Oreos as a binding agreement.") **Paul wishes to state that it was more like someone walked into the store and began drooling over a certain laptop and he was merely trying to facilitate this person's further happiness by encouraging the purchase on the grounds that we have the funds on-hand.
Oh, here is a side note from a very funny essay by one Zack Parsons. Please do not search him out or seek for the rest of the article even if you are over 18, for he does not always use the cleanest of language. Trust me, I learned the hard way. It's from his "concise reference" on how to determine whether an interogation technique is or is not torture for the new Attorney General.
"The people asking you questions are wearing ski masks.
Unless you are being interrogated outdoors on a ski slope, ski masks are generally not an important part of lawful interrogation methods. A rule of thumb on this is if your interrogators are wearing any of the headgear worn by people you are supposed to shoot in Hogan's Alley [an old computer game] then you are about to get the *$%& tortured out of you. This includes black burglar masks, skullcaps and sunglasses, and oversized fedoras, but does not include police hats or old lady hats.
Somebody keeps trying to stop you from breathing.
On a scale of importance from one to ten I think it's fair to say that breathing rates about a 9.7 or 9.8. Maybe even a little higher. It's up there with "having a beating heart" and "not being on fire." When someone tries to get you to stop breathing, even temporarily, that's a pretty good sign you're being tortured. The other possibility is that they won't stop so you can breathe and they don't want you to answer any questions at all, in which case congratulations, you are just being murdered."
I don't know why, but the part about "oversized fedoras" gets me every time.
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