John Smith, 1882? My Mistake.

Dear All,
The new laptop cord arrived today (the old one is still with the 3C man, should the part ever come in). Paul's computer should also arrive tomorrow, meaning we'll have to shell out the bucks to buy a moniter. At least it will be cheaper than it would be in America and one of those slender LCD ones. I see my last posts have just been scintillating, based on the record number of responses. Perhaps this gruesome story about the dangers of mixing small children, coloring, and Taiwanese food will help. An epidemic of "bathroom breaks" broke out last Friday, leading us to question what had been served for lunch (none of us eat lunch at school if it can be avoided. Not so much for sanitation, but taste). Things went to a new level today, though. Paul noticed a child--we'll call him Timmy--was sick, but he failed to pass this information on to me. I meanwhile was worried about another child, who was clearly in intenstinal distress, but would rather color with one hand while clutching his abdomen than go downstairs and get some medicine. Anyway, I have my back turned to the class to put their art folders on a table when I detect a most foul odor. I assume the child in clear distress is passing some gas, but it is so foul that I decide to send him downstairs regardless of whether he wants to go or not because something will eventually happen. I tell all of the kids to line up and that's when a commotion breaks out around little Timmy. He turns around to the deal with the kids yelling at him and that's when I see why the other kids are yelling. There is ...stuff...EVERYWHERE. It's hanging off his sweater vest, it's all down his pants, it's on the floor and his chair and my desk and everywhere. It was like a baby has a massive blowout all up the back and everything, only Timmy is five. Ughhhhhhhhhh!!!! Luckily, this is what support staff is for. I get on the phone and call the secretary. But I get Shannon, who is a great person, but who has no confidence in her English and is the less fluent of the secretaries, and my attempts at delicacy are lost on her. Finally, I am forced to lay it out very explicitly. This she understood and raced up. Meanwhile all of the kids are running around screaming "Poo poo! Poo poo!" which is not conducive to learning English. Were it not for their love of "Sally the Camel," I don't know if order would have ever been restored. Now, this all happened in my room, which concerned me since I had to teach in that room later that day and heaven knows that I had no intent of cleaning it up if it could be avoided. (Sorry, but I will not touch anything that comes out of the human body except blood. Yes, I've cleaned up after Max the Beagle, but only when it was absolutely necessary and it was still incredibly gross. Paul doesn't do dogs unless he absolutely has to and as long as I'm there, it's not.) Shannon was willing to hose down Timmy, but she disavowed any ability to clean the room. I chose to flee, which turned out to be a successful tactic. It's not as cowardly as it sounds since I still had to teach for another two hours. So, that was the highlight of my day, what about yours?

Oh, and since Heather tagged me, here are the six things about me. I took them from the first website that popped up when I googled "getting to know you questions." Oh, and I added on the answers from the "misrepresented and slandered" Paul for fun.

Question #1: If you could live anywhere in the world for one year, where would it be?
J-Answer: Taiwan, obviously.
P-Answer: Provo (because that's where his family lives. Say it together: Awwww.)

Q#2: If you knew could you try anything and not fail (and money was no object), what dream would you attempt?
J-Answer: I would become a traveling oceanographer, again obviously.
P-Answer: We are united in our ambition to become traveling oceanographers.

Q#3: What super-power would you most like to have, and why?
J-Answer: I would possess the awesome ability to add up numbers in my head. I desire this because I am incompetent in the realm of mental math.
P-Answer: The ability to break in film noir detective-style voiceover monologues without prior thought.

Q#4: What’s your favorite concert you’ve ever attended?
J-Answer: Well, it's a grand total of two, but since I think the No Doubt concert was the closest to the kind of concert the question had in mind, I'll go with that one.
P-Answer: I've never been to a concert voluntarily.

Q#5: Because you're lame, what is your favorite color?
J-Answer: My favorite color is sunshine yellow, which is why the interior of my sims' house is painted completely bright yellow. I look forward to the glorious day when the interior of my real living space will also be bright yellow.
P-Answer: Green, but I lack a strong preference.

Q#6: What one item in the kitchen best describes you and your personality?
J-Answer: The first kitchen utensil that came to mind was the green scraper thing from Williams-Sonoma. I don't speak English anymore, so I don't remember what it's called. I'm tired to doing all the work, so I'll let you tell me how this reflects my personality.
P-Answer: Bread machine, because I'm willing to put the extra effort in to be extra happy. (Ed. note: I have no idea how this metaphor works, but I swear this is what he said.)