BREAKING NEWS--OFFICIALLY IN AT ASU!!!

Breaking news--I'm officially in at ASU!!! According to my ASU interactive website, I could start registering for classes last Friday. Or could have, if I submitted documentation of my measles immunizations with my application (not that they asked for it). Luckily, I have indeed been immunized against the measles. Hurray for not needlessly dying from a preventable disease! Now, all I need to know about is the big bucks, which is why I am officially authorizing you, in-law reading this, to open that official letter from ASU! Let's keep our fingers crossed for a little money.

So....(Twiddles Thumbs)

So...not much going on in my neck of the woods. Yours? Yeah, that's what you say, but I know the truth: riotous living and outrageous feats every day of the week. The big news here is that 7-11, that bastion of all that is good and American, is now carrying Hershey's kisses (with almonds!) and Ruffles potato chips (in strange flavors alleging to be salt and pepper and Texas BBQ). Things at school are pretty quiet. 3B learned about direct and indirect objects, something I had never learned about and had to have Paul explain to me. As it turns out, there is no reason to know about them unless someone walks up to you and asks what a direct or indirect object is. Umm, what else? Paul got a haircut. It was done by the mother of one of our most troubled students. She did a really good job. Also, her daughter did all the translating, giving warm English fuzzies all around.

Which is why I am spicing it up with excerpts from their last writing assignment. I have a set of three siblings in my class and, since the assignment was to write about their grandparents, I got three views of the same grandparents. They all agreed on two points. Their grandparents quarrel and Grandpa likes fruit. I don't know why, but I find it really, really funny that each of them think Grandpa's defining characteristic is liking fruit. Two mentioned Grandpa can only speak Taiwanese, not Mandarin. I'm not sure they (the kids) can speak Taiwanese. I suspect they can understand it, but I'm not sure if they can speak it. (Some elderly Taiwanese people only speak Taiwanese and Japanese because they were raised during the occupation and never learned to speak Mandarin after the Nationalists arrived. There was some newspaper article on how that generation is now isolated because kids these days don't speak Taiwanese.) Anyway, if you put together all of their essays, this is what you get.

Grandma:
Locks her bedroom door behind them when her grandchildren visit her in her room
Locks the door on her bathroom so Grandpa can't use it
Is kind to everyone but Grandpa
Quarrels with Grandpa

Grandpa:
Can't speak Chinese
Likes fruit
Buys said fruit at the market
Cuts it up and feeds it to his grandchildren

If you romantically fill in the blanks on Grandpa, you get an elderly man who shows his love for his grandchildren (with whom he can't easily communicate) by feeding them fruit. Grandma, on the other hand, is viewed by her grandchildren as a bit of a nut. They don't understand but accept her quarrels, but they are genuinely confused by her door locking. Grandpa is not the most mobile these days (he broke his leg in a fall) and has his own bathroom, so why would he want to use Grandma's? It would be great to hear Grandma's version of the story. Maybe Grandpa is always stealing her good soap.

BREAKING NEWS--UNOFFICIALLY IN AT ASU!!!

Hot off the virtual presses! I'm unofficially in at ASU! I just received a highly complimentary e-mail from the Graduate Director for the Chinese program. He said that my application had been forwarded to the College for approval of admission and that it was "almost certain" that I'll receive a funding offer. Hooray!

Running Up That Hill

Done: 2 monthly lessons plans
1 awkward phone call
1 awkward e-mail
1 box of stuff packed

To Do: Mail 1 iPod
Write 14 student progress reports
Watch 1 movie as mostly solemnly vowed to Paul on our very marriage
Grade 17 exercise books
Teach 4 classes

Let's see. It's 4:17 am Thurday. Yeah, I think I can make it by 7:30 pm Friday.

Story of My Life

Wow. Apparently, you all were only reading my blog for family trivia. Who knew? Sheesh. I should have been dishing this stuff out months ago. Obviously, we've used up most of the good stuff, but maybe we can dig some more goodies out of the vaults later. In the meantime, I thought I'd pass along the following story. It is a well-established fact (in life, if not here) that I can only remember Paul's birthday by adding one to Scott Calder's birthday (Sept. 21). This has always rankled the usually-unranklable Paul and I always felt a little bad about it, although if he'd gone to school with me since kindergarten, I'd remember his birthday still too. Seriously, I don't know about any of you, but the classrooms used to have all of the months of year posted and a list of all the birthdays that month. I think I could probably name the birthday of any of the kids I went through elementary with. Anyway though, today we were discussing what I want for my birthday (a new laptop) and how much (a lot--kind of, it's complicated)and Paul totally could not remember my birthday! (It's April 20, for those of you still needing to organize firework displays, parades, lavish spectacles, etc.) "There are too many birthdays with 2s in them," he said. I am not sure I will ever stop being amused. I know I'll never feel bad about having to add one to Scott Calder's birthday any more. Hee hee hee.

Know Thy Other Enemy

As promised, here is the random family facts about Paul's family. I can't vouch for their accuracy, but Paul says it's true.

Paul's brother, Nick, has no middle name.

His dad originally told family members that Spencer's name was David. (Spencer is Paul's youngest brother)

Paul had hernia surgery when he was 10 days old.

His mom received a promotion after one week as a teller.

Their family had a long-running "Guess Dad's Youthful Misadventure" contest.

Paul has a set of twins and a set of triplets among his cousins.

His dad was named after Danny Kaye, the singer/actor.

Their family had goldfish named Nephi and Sam.

Nick won a scariest pumpkin carving contest in high school.

His mom once wrote for the Daily Herald.

Spencer loved biting noses as a baby.

Paul's dad has a notoriously bad memory and is frequently accused of making memories up by other family members.

Nick hit his head and forgot it was Christmas one year.

His mom once prank-called her sister and pretended to be the Bay City Rollers.

Know Thy Enemy

Dear All,
I'm sufficiently bored, so I've decided to share random facts about my family.

My sister's nicknames are "small one" and "mouse."

My mother's driver's license lists her height as an inch shorter than she really is.

My dad used to call me "Thunderlizard" because I was so noisy--especially in kitchen getting breakfast on Saturday mornings.

My brother has a scar from when he hit his head on the very well-rounded corner of the TV stand and split it (his head) open.

I have a cousin exactly fifteen days older than I am.

We've had a virtual menegarie of pets over the years: 2 dogs, 6 cats (not including kittens), 2 rabbits, 3 hamsters, 8 gerbils, 1 rat (on loan), and loads of fish.

Speaking of fish, my dad once accidentally killed our pet fish the night before we were leaving on vacation.

I have two scars on the back of one of my knees from somehow kneeling on scissors in the second grade.

My dog is named after an emperor of the Holy Roman Empire.

All of the children in my family celebrate their birthdays within an eleven-day period (April 13-24).

My brother's last rabbit was called Frisky Kevin Eubanks (not originally by him, of course).

Tune it later for Random Family Facts, Round 2: The Muhlestein Family Edition